It was 4 months after my pregnancy when we had a thunderstorm discussion that we need to be apart for 3 months after my delivery. Believe me, it takes several days to revive back to the steady state from a mournful feeling. Almaklumlah masih struggle dengan morning sickness yang bagai tiada kesudahan tetiba dengar story nak merana pulak.It was though tho.
Along the way of my pregnancy I could say, semua pun expected sampailah minggu ke- 37. Tetiba white thick mucus plague keluar in a small amount berselang seli dengan light contraction yang langsung tak konsisten. So, I assumed probably braxton hicks jelah. Hampir seminggu plague tu tak stop dan light contraction gap become closer. Tapi masih selang 2 jam or sejam until one night baru mula ada leaking. So, we decided to have one final check up on the next day just in case air ketuban kurang. Unfortunely, I saw a blood stains masa mandi pagi tu dan dengan tak semena-mena contraction gap become less than 6 minutes. The stains leave us no choice but menyerah diri. Huhu.
Walaupun rasa excited tak sabar nak jumpa our second baby, I have a mix feeling too. Rasa tak tahu macamana nak handle both when husband won't be around later. At the same time rasa sedih teringat anak sulung padahal bukaan dah 5cm dalam labour room. Haha. Satu perasaan yang susah nak explain. Kalau masa Aisy terpaksa hadap induced dan pitocin, I have a bad luck again on my second delivery which still kena pitocin. Macam love - hate relationship pulak dengan ubat yang satu ni. Tak suka sebab delivery enforcement dari ubat hormon dan bukan naturally, confirm sangat sakit.
Delivery process kalini pun agak unpredictable. Masuk labour pukul 3.30pm, pukul 4.30pm boleh mengangkang main whatsapp dengan bebudak ofis,tetiba kau rasa nak berak sangat-sangat dah. Dalam 6pm gitu semua dah setel. Tapi dari bukaan 5cm to 10cm was super fast. In less than 1 hour bayangkan. Sakitnya Ya Rabbi double dari beranak sulung. Rasa nak tendang semua barang dalam bilik tu sambil meratap dalam hati, it's going to be my last meet up dengan mana-mana labour room. I'm freaking serious. It's hurt pretty badly. But Alhamdulliah. Everything went well.
Fresh from oven. 2.91kg. 7 Jan 2017. Tertido tak sedar jantina anak sebab lali sedut gas. Buat2 kental jiwa raga tak nak epidural. Serius surrender sebab tak tahan padahal cucuk painkiller. Painkiller hapa tak membantu pun. Sama je sakit.Haha
Having Aali was a wonderful feeling ever for the first month after we have him in our team. But, when husband was no longer around (business trips to Austria), the feeling started to change. Doesn't mean tak sayang both of them, but I started to feel something wrong. Susah nak cakap.Yes, rindu suami,rasa terlalu letih,rasa sangat emotional. Until one day I had a high fever (40 celcuis) sampai cramp the whole body. I thought dah kena stroke.Sumpah sampai meratap dekat doktor, "am I going to be okay doctor? Anak I dua. Their father was away now".
The day I was brought to the emergency red zone for couple hours. The day before our fourth anniversary. And one thing for sure, the day I didn't see the beautiful rainbows in every rain until now.
Till next writing,
XOXO
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